RAPTURED BY A PIZZA - almost.

I thought I would repost this because it might just be time for the funny side of christianity. I first posted this on BC a longgg time ago, but for those that havent read it, here it is again.

A day in the life of a window washer (well, a blonde one anyway)... I nearly was raptured by a pizza.

Its really not easy being a blonde christian window washer living in a mini hollywood mecca .... Strange things happen and there are just too many blonde moments - I wouldnt recommend it as a career for the level headed.
umm...... People ask me all the time if I see any 'interesting' sights as a window washer, and I have to admit, that I dont!
I think I miss all the action because Im too busy trying to untangle myself from flying squeegees and drowning myself with water.
butttt... I do meet some interesting people along the way and have interesting experiences
Mostly though, 'things happen' when I wash windows.

Like the day a couple of weeks ago....

There I was, mid afternoon cleaning the windows of a local pizza restaurant.

Now, this small quaint restaurant looks out over the carpark of a small but very busy shopping center. It has windows that reach from floor to ceiling.They hadnt opened for business yet that night, and from the outside I saw the waitresses busy setting up.
I finished the outside, tapped on the window and Tom the boss let me in, where I promptly started cleaning the inside windows.
From the view I had, it was a cloudy but mild overcast day, and I heard Tom singing in the background and the clatter of cutlery and crockery being prepared for the night.
I was in such a happy mood that day, and was singing to myself.

La la laa....
I reached up with the squeegee and did my famous wonder window washer woman swirl (cmon, its an art using a squeegee you know... actually, it took a lot of practise to be able to swirl the squeegee - I remember the first day I decided to impress a client with my expertise and somehow the squeegee and I departed ways and it went flying......... - but, thats another story).

Anyway... so la la la, washing the windows and swirling and twirling my squeegee.
Tom was animatedly yapping in the background and between song I answered chatted with him.
It was when I had the squeegee up mid air I heard it.
I felt it.
I stopped.
Frozen.
Suddenly, the ground beneath me began to vibrate slightly and shake.
I looked down. umm.... hmm.... I looked outside and up at the sky.
There was a low rumble - and looking into the cloudy sky, I thought, oh wowwww.... jet planes must be flying low today.
You know how that feels dont you ?
When one of those super duper things fly over you? ????

I couldnt see a thing. Because the doors were closed, I couldnt hear anything that was happening from outside either - except, I heard this low rumble and the ground shaking - so, I looked across the carpark.

It was mildly busy.... I expected to see other people looking up.
But nope !!!
Everyone else was acting normal...
Was everyone deaf ?
Was I the only one that could hear this looming, sound ?
I put my squeegee down and banged my hands against my ears and shook my head.
Maybe its vertigo !
Nope, it kept boom boom boooming and vvrrrrrring in my ears.
I looked up at the sky again... nada !
So, I turned around, and saw Tom and the waitresses still going about their business, setting tables, and Tom was busy flipping pizza bases in the air.

Hmmm...... I turned around and stared out the window again.

Suddenly it stopped. just stopped!.
So, I picked up my squeegee and started again.
Strange, I thought - God, what WAS that ? I started to have a conversation with Him..... and suddenly ... booom booom booom vrrrr vrrrr vrrrrr..... and the whole earth started shaking again !!!!! this time, it was distantly louder!

Oh my gosh !!!
I thought, this is wierrrrrd.
I looked up at the sky again, across the carpark again.
Nothing.
No one took any notice.
And then something happened.

It struck me, if I could hear this,
.... and no one else could
..... and I was a christian
..... and Jesus was coming back soon
..... umm..... (well yeah, I got all my doctrinal theory mixed up at that point lol, geesh, you know, I didnt care much about doctrine at that point all I knew is that it could be an imminent sign of the times !!! )
Gosh....... I shocked myself.
I was shockkkked... umm.... now what Lord ?

I looked again, and no one was taking any notice of this boom boom vrrr vrrrr beneath my feet, surrounding me and vibration filled the air.

Maybe I should run outside and warn everyone ?

"Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming!!!"

I put my squeegee down, and in an almost act of bravery, reached for the door to run outside. But then, I thought, well umm.....maybe there is something else I should do..

So, in my quick thinking, I started to prayyyyy ....
if this WAS the rapture, well, gee, I wouldnt get time to get home to my kids !!!!

I tried to look calm on the outside..... (I tried very very hard)

I prayed in the spirit and you know, it energized me soo much !
mannn I had that squeegee flying down the window and doing swirls and twirls whilst I prayed for my kids safety, that Jesus wouldnt forget them, that they would be safe, oh, and Lord have mercy on my parents too
... umm.. and my sis and her family and
.... oh and whilst Im at it Lord, can you let Tom know you are coming toooo ?? !!!!!

I gulped.
The rumbling vibrating sound was descending upon me and I tried to hold that squeegee steady, but I was shaking sooo much.

I closed my eyes for a moment.
And then........ the noise stopped again !

Well, by this time, I had a tear growing inside my eyes......

He's forgotten me !
I didnt get raptured !!!!!!
Oh Lordddd, forgive meeeee....... where did You go ?

Lord ???
Helppppppppppp !!!!!!! (well okay, this was all silent in my head, but I knew Jesus could hear me ! )
I stood in stunned silence,
.... now get a grip eli, get a grip, it doesnt happen that way, you know that.....err, do I ?
ummm yes you do....
well, then why........ oh sigh.
Just keep cleaning windows would ya.so.....
I picked up my squeegee once more, still trying to fathom out what happened.

And the noise STARTED AGAIN !!!!

Right, this time, I was beside myself.

I looked up at the sky, across the carpark.
I looked back at Tom and his staff.
No one was taking any notice !!
My eardrums had burst, that must be it !!!
Thats why I was hearing this !
Or maybe, just maybe, God was giving me plenty of warning (coz He knows Im blonde lol and these things take time...
He twinkles his eye and I am still trying to work out should I open or shut my own).

I looked back at Tom again.....and with the ground vibrating heavily beneath me, I turned to him, very prepared now to warn him that Jesus was on His way NOW and he had to take notice and repent straight away !!!

.... and I said......"Tom..."
"yes eli ?"
"are you okay my dear? "
"ummm yes Tom
.... umm..... Tom..... can you hear that noise ????? "
"what noise eli ? "
(I gulped, oh Lord, thats it, Im convinced now, if he cant hear it and I can....)
"err..... THAT noise Tom...
you know........
the vrroooom vrooom boom booom.... "
and my teeth were chattering and I gave him a visual display of the vibration surrounding me, shaking my body.

"err....... eli ? "
" Tom ? .... can you, can you hear it ? "
"yes eli, I can hear it "
(ohhh Hallelujah Lord !!!! He is gonna be saved, Im not the only one here !!!)

"eli......... "
"yes Tom"

"thats my new pizza oven".

Oh.
Oh............

I turned around sheepishly and closed my eyes, my face bright red with embarrassment.

"Lord" I said, "why didnt you tell me ?"

I cringed inside.

"Well, I did eli, you My daughter, werent listening... you were too busy panicking"

"oh"

"well, Lord, umm - Im sure glad this is our secret... "

"yes" He said "it is "

"thanks Lord"and we laughed together.

Im sure glad God had a sense of humor when He made me.

Yep, you meet the strangest people washing windows.